Too Heavy for Tears, the Arrogant Cripple Broke Down Chapter 01

Too Heavy for Tears, the Arrogant Cripple Broke Down Chapter 01

When my boyfriend, Evan Whitmore, pushed me away yet again and said he wanted to break up, I calmly agreed.

The comment feed hovering in front of me instantly erupted.

[Why did the female lead agree? The male lead is only acting this way because he’s jealous over her male coworker. He hates that he can’t use his legs and deliberately asked to break up because he’s afraid she’ll look down on him.]

[The male lead is probably already regretting ever asking to break up.]

[So the female lead in a hurt/comfort romance can’t even handle this much?]

I let out a long sigh.

In the three years Evan and I had been together, he had tried to break up with me at least a hundred times because of his disability. Every breakup had been a test, and every time, I had believed what the comment feed told me.

I convinced myself that Evan simply didn’t know how to love me without hurting me, so I was always the first to back down and coax him into making up.

But yesterday, while I was humiliating myself in yet another text begging Evan to reconcile, Mom saw me.

She froze in place, her eyes filling with tears before mine did.

“Nina, have you truly been happy all these years?”

In that moment, I thought about her question for a long time.

By the time I was done, I had decided that I was finished being the female lead in a hurt/comfort romance.

******

The moment I agreed to the breakup, Evan visibly stiffened.

His eyes reddened in disbelief. Several times, he reached for my hand, only to pull back before touching me.

In the end, he chose to turn his back on me and sulk rather than say a single word.

As usual, the comment feed rushed to defend him.

[The male lead looks like he’s about to fall apart. He clearly didn’t mean it when he asked to break up. Now he must think the female lead really does look down on him.]

[Is the female lead seriously making such a big deal out of this? Can’t she be a little more patient?]

[Someone as emotionally sensitive and insecure as the male lead needs a partner who won’t let him push her away. The female lead doesn’t seem good enough for him.]

[The female lead’s groveling-to-win-him-back arc is about to start. I bet it takes her at least three days to get him back.]

I watched him in silence and found the whole thing bitterly ironic.

For three years, whenever Evan tried to end things, I was the one who cried first. I was the one who begged him to reconcile and sobbed that I refused to lose him.

This time, I had thought long and hard but still couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong. I had simply taken him at his word and let him go.

Yet he couldn’t bring himself to say even one word to make me stay.

Apparently, Evan cared more about protecting his pride than he did about losing me.

Pain pierced my chest as Mom’s question circled through my mind.

Had I truly been happy all these years?

I glanced at the glass of water Evan had knocked to the floor when I brought him his medication, as he always did. Shards lay scattered everywhere.

The glass could be replaced. What couldn’t be undone was the crack that had opened inside me at that moment.

I had spent three years trying to patch it, but the cold still seeped in.

Evan still hadn’t turned around by the time I left the room.

Maybe this was for the best.

Some goodbyes became final the moment they were spoken.

Mrs. Dawson, Evan’s longtime housekeeper, saw me come out and spoke with the familiar assumption that I would comply.

“Nina, I’m going back to my hometown in a couple of days. Take a few days off work and stay here to look after Evan.”

“You know he listens to you more than anyone. You’re the only person who can calm him down.”

Hope filled her eyes as she waited for me to accommodate him unconditionally, just as I always had.

In the past, I would have agreed without hesitation.

This time, I gently shook my head.

“Mrs. Dawson, we broke up.”

Her expression froze. After a long pause, she forced an awkward smile and tried to smooth things over.

“You’re just having a lovers’ quarrel. You’ll make up in a few days.”

My voice was quiet but unusually firm. “This isn’t a lovers’ quarrel.”

I remembered the redness around Mom’s eyes.

I simply didn’t want her to hurt because of me anymore.

The comment feed began scrolling rapidly.

[Is the female lead serious this time?]

[No way. Everyone knows how much she cares about the male lead. She would never give him up that easily.]

When I got home, I told Mom that Evan and I had broken up.

She froze, discreetly wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, and asked me nothing.

Then she brought out a platter of my favorite pot roast and smiled.

“If it wasn’t right, then let it go. It’s time you…”

Mom never finished the sentence, but I could guess what she had wanted to say.

For years, I had compromised on everything to stay beside Evan.

I had limited my college applications to schools in the city.

I had found a job close to him.

I had planned every detail of every date.

I had weighed every word before speaking, afraid of how he might react.

Somewhere along the way, I had stopped being myself.

I had become nothing more than someone whose purpose was to save Evan.

I didn’t want that anymore.

“Yeah. I think I’m ready to go out and build a life of my own.”

Mom looked at me with visible relief and piled several more slices of pot roast onto my plate.

“Eat more. You’ve lost weight lately.”

The comment feed responded with open mockery.

[The female lead actually thinks she can go out and make something of herself. Does she not realize the male lead pulled strings to get her current job? There’s no way someone with her abilities could have gotten into a company that good on her own.]

[That’s hilarious. What abilities does she have? Give her a few days away from the male lead, and she’ll come crawling back in tears, begging him to take her back.]

I clenched my fingers until they hurt.

I had never known that even my stable job had been handed to me as a favor from Evan.

Apparently, everyone else believed that the love and devotion I had given him for three years were simply things he was entitled to receive.

After dinner, Mom made up my bed for me.

“You got up so early today. Go get some more sleep. You still have work tomorrow.”

I did as she said and lay down. Without thinking, I opened my message history with Evan.

The message thread was almost entirely made up of my texts. I was always the one explaining myself or trying to soothe him, while his replies were never more than a curt “K” or a thumbs-up.

Just as I put my phone down and prepared to sleep, it began to buzz.

It was Evan’s friend, Ryan Cole. Urgency sharpened his voice.

“Nina, Evan insisted that we bring him to a bar. Ever since we got here, he’s been knocking back drink after drink by himself, and he won’t answer any of our questions.”

“Did something happen between you two?”

I opened my mouth to respond, but Ryan cut me off.

“Something’s happened! Get over here now.”

Before the call abruptly ended, I heard the unmistakable crash of a bottle shattering.