Her Husband Claims He Has No Function For Love Yet His Pulse Races Around Her Chapter 02

Her Husband Claims He Has No Function For Love Yet His Pulse Races Around Her Chapter 02

The next day was the weekend.

Rowan got up early as usual. He finished breakfast and sat with his coffee, looking at his phone.

On the dining table sat the orange juice and sandwich he’d made for me.

I sat down across from him and ate quietly.

Getting bored, I unlocked my phone and clicked back into that post from last night.

The OP had updated not long ago.

[My wife said I’m not sick.]

[But last night, my body went rigid for one minute and twenty-four seconds. During that time, my breathing became labored, and my heart struggled to beat.]

[My true form has never done this. Is this a flaw of the humanoid morph?]

Online friends were buzzing with curiosity:

[What, what? Did the wife do something again? Alien bro, you’re holding out on us. You learned how to lie.]

[We can’t help if you don’t give us details.]

The OP:

[My apologies, an oversight on my part.]

[My wife is timid. Watching sci-fi films, even the fictional alien creatures scare her. For days after, she won’t dare go to the bathroom at night without me with her.]

[But she hasn’t been exposed to anything like that recently. Last night, however, she suddenly expressed fear of extraterrestrial beings.]

The commenters cracked it instantly:

[So that’s what set you off?]

[Dude, that’s called being scared. It’s not a malfunctioning part. You’re so in love with your wife you’re terrified she’ll find out you’re an alien and leave you.]

The OP shut it down like clockwork:

[Sorry. I truly do not possess this function. I do not love her.]

I hadn’t expected the OP’s wife to be a little like me.

I was also terrified of all kinds of unknown creatures. Including, but not limited to, aliens in sci-fi movies. I always needed a few days to recover after watching one.

Rowan was just as good as the OP at taking care of me on that front.

Since we had this connection, I decided to help the guy out.

I worded things carefully and commented under the post:

[Here’s the thing. Your wife matters to you. A lot. So you care about her.]

[She’s scared of aliens. You’re scared she’ll be scared of you if she finds out what you are. And you can’t handle losing her.]

[That’s why you panicked and got scared.]

The OP had a sudden breakthrough:

[Thank you. I understand now. I truly cannot accept my wife leaving me. Divorce could get me deported by the Bureau. So this is what fear feels like.]

The commenters facepalmed:

[How did he get that out of what you said? Are you a preschool teacher or something?]

[Moms everywhere can stop worrying about aliens invading Earth. This guy’s mouth alone could hold them off.]

[Dude’s body is screaming with love, and his brain’s still going: we aliens don’t have that function.]

The OP ignored their jokes entirely and pressed on:

[The truth is, I am far more terrifying than anything in sci-fi films. What can I do so my wife won’t be afraid of me?]

The commenters smelled blood:

[If what’s between your legs is monstrous enough, your wife will definitely accept you!]

The OP: [Really?]

The other vultures watching:

[Absolutely. I’ll vouch for that!]

[+1]

[…]

My eyes went wide at the absolute filth these people were spouting.

In my peripheral vision, Rowan shot to his feet. His chair scraped against the floor with a dull screech.

He seemed to be heading toward the bathroom.

Moments later, I heard the sound of running water.

I didn’t pay it much mind and kept reading the post.

The OP went silent for a long stretch this time.

The water stopped. The bathroom door opened. And the OP’s reply refreshed right on cue.

[In humanoid morph, it stays at 10 most of the time, yet it spikes to 18 whenever I’m in an abnormal state. My true form has no restrictions. Is this enough for my wife to accept me?]

I nearly spat out my orange juice. Choked hard, face turning red.

Rowan walked over fast and patted my back.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine, just… it’s nothing.”

I waved him off. Those cheeky, suggestive comments on the screen flashed through my mind. I killed the display fast before grabbing a napkin to wipe my mouth.

Rowan’s eyes darkened. He looked like he wasn’t feeling well.

Probably still hadn’t rested enough.

Once he sat back down on the couch, I dared to unlock my phone again.

The commenters were running wild:

[Wait, you got those measurements that fast? That’s a little quick, dude. That won’t do. Even aliens can’t be quick.]

The OP responded with complete seriousness:

[When my wife eats, her cheeks puff up. It looks very different than normal. This caused my humanoid morph to lose control. So after taking a simple measurement without issue, I showered to recover. Fifteen minutes in total. Is that too fast?]

The commenters were shook:

[Holy shit! I think this thing is actually non-human. He just says everything.]

[No, no, you’re good, alien bro. Your wife’s gonna be real satisfied. Rest easy.]

The OP: [Good. Thank you for your help.]