After Being Reborn, I Decided Not to Love Him Anymore Chapter 05

After Being Reborn, I Decided Not to Love Him Anymore Chapter 05

I walked out of Heathrow, dragging my suitcase, and took a deep breath.

The air was cold and damp. It smelled like somewhere else entirely.

I pulled out my phone and texted Lily that I’d landed.

She replied instantly: “You made it! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!”

Then a voice message—a whole string of them: “Bundle up, London’s freezing. If you need money, just say so. Don’t be cheap. And video call me this weekend, I miss you.”

I laughed, listened to every one, and texted back: “Got it. You too, Lily.”

Another message from Lily: “Marcus asked if you’d landed.”

I blinked. Then typed: “I’m here. Tell him not to worry.”

Lily sent a laughing emoji. “He’s not worried, he just asked. Hey, that friend Sean—did he go with you?”

“Yeah, we came together. Different schools, but not too far apart.”

“Good. Nice to have someone.”

I put my phone away and took a cab to school.

London’s sky was gray. The buildings along the streets were old and grand. I watched out the window, feeling calm.

In my past life, I’d given up every opportunity just to stay near Marcus.

But this time? This time I was finally living for me.

First week of classes, I signed up for five courses. Packed my schedule to the gills.

My advisor was a British woman in her forties named Harper. Our first meeting, she said, “Your application was solid, but I need to see what you can actually do.”

I nodded. “I’ll prove it.”

For our first project, she gave us an assignment: adaptive reuse of an old industrial building.

I pulled four all-nighters in a row and came up with three versions. For the final one, I incorporated a borrowed-scenery technique. I turned that sealed-up factory into a space where light and shadow flowed like water.

The day we presented, Harper looked at it for a long time. Then she said, “You’ve passed this course.”

Out of twelve people in the class, I was the only one who got that.

Sean was at University College London studying architecture. We met up at King’s Cross Station, and he treated me to Chinese food.

“So, settling in okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. Busier than I expected.”

He smiled. “I never doubted you. I could tell from your application—you work harder than anyone.”

I took a sip of soup. “I have to. I don’t have a safety net.”

He didn’t pry. He just said, “If you need anything, I’m here.”

I nodded.

Sean was smart. He never asked too many questions. He knew I had a past, but he never dug.

That kind of distance? I liked it.

Time flew.

Up at seven every morning. At the library by eight. Home at eleven.

On weekends, I’d hit a museum with friends or grab a meal with Sean.

One night in October, Lily video-called me.

She was beaming on the screen. “Nancy! I had my checkup. The doctor said I’m completely clear!”

“That’s amazing,” I said, and I meant it.

“Hey, Marcus has been acting weird lately,” Lily said, lowering her voice. “He keeps asking about you, but then he tells me not to tell you. Guy’s lost his mind.”

My chopsticks paused mid-air. “What’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know. He spaces out all the time. Stares at his phone for ages. When I ask what he’s looking at, he says nothing.” Lily made a face. “Anyway, who cares. So this Sean guy—what’s he like?”

“Fine. Focuses on his work. Keeps his nose clean.”

“I meant what does he LOOK like!”

I laughed. “Fine. Tall, skinny. Wears glasses.”

Lily’s eyes lit up. “Picture! Send me a picture!”

“Don’t have one. We’re just friends.”

“Friends can take pictures together.”

I brushed her off and hung up.

When finals week ended, Sean and I went to see a movie.

When we came out, the streets were full of Christmas decorations. Colored lights made everything glow.

Sean said out of nowhere, “Nancy, have you thought about staying in London after graduation?”

I thought about it. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

“Because of your brother?”

I stopped walking and looked at him.

Sean put his hands up. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

I started walking again. “It’s fine. He’s my foster brother. I used to think he was my whole world. Then I figured out he never gave a damn about me.”

Sean listened quietly. Didn’t interrupt.

I smiled. “But it’s okay. I give a damn about me now.”

On Christmas Eve, Lily video-called me.

“Nancy! Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas.”

“Marcus is here. He wants to say something.”

The camera shifted, and Marcus’s face filled the screen.

He’d lost weight. There were dark circles under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks.

“Nancy,” he said, his voice rough. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” I said, flat.

He opened his mouth like he wanted to say more. In the end, all that came out was, “Take care of yourself.”

“I will.”

Lily grabbed the phone back and rolled her eyes at Marcus. “That’s it? You rehearsed for an hour and that’s what you came up with?”

Marcus didn’t answer. He just turned and walked away.

Lily sighed. “He really has been off. Anyway. Nancy, are you spending the holiday alone?”

“Yeah. Meeting a friend for dinner tomorrow.”

“Good. Long as you’re happy.”

I hung up and stood by the window.

Outside, people were singing carols. The music floated up, warm and far away.

I pulled the curtains shut, turned on my lamp, and opened a new book.