After Being Reborn, I Decided Not to Love Him Anymore Chapter 01

After Being Reborn, I Decided Not to Love Him Anymore Chapter 01

Lily froze when she saw me.

Her eyes were red and swollen—she’d clearly been crying. “Nancy? What are you—”

“Lily,” I said, forcing my voice to stay steady. “Can I come in?”

The living room was a mess. On the coffee table sat a half-eaten birthday cake.

I smiled and got straight to the point.

“I’m here to apologize for Marcus. He forgot your birthday. That’s on him.”

Marcus and I grew up together. I’d spent years lying to myself, pretending what I felt for him was just sisterly love.

Lily pressed her lips together and said nothing.

“He does love you. He’s just never known how to show it.” I paused. “You broke up with him. Right now, he’s at a bar, drinking alone.”

I took a breath. “Lily, go find him.”

In my past life, after he married me, every single year on Lily’s birthday, he’d drink alone.

He never got over her.

Lily looked at me. Then she laughed—but the tears came harder.

“Marcus is so cold and distant. How’d he end up with a sweetheart like you for a sister?”

“I’ll go right now.”

“Thank you, Nancy.”

I told her which bar Marcus was at. She changed and walked out the door.

I watched her go and let out a long, slow breath.

That night wouldn’t happen this time around.

When I got home, I dug my diary out from the back of my closet.

When I was ten years old, lost on the streets, eighteen-year-old Marcus found me. He acted like an ice king to everyone else, but he was always gentle with me. From the moment I understood what love was, I knew I loved him. It was a secret I could never, ever tell.

I ripped it out, page by page.

The shredded paper fell into the toilet. I flushed it away myself.

About two hours later, the door opened.

Lily was helping a stumbling, dead-drunk Marcus inside.

He had his arms locked around her like a vise, mumbling under his breath: “Lily… don’t break up with me… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

Lily looked exhausted but fond. “Okay, okay. We’re not breaking up.”

She spotted me. “Nancy, could you put on some soup? I’ll get him to bed.”

“You got it.”

Lily helped him into the bedroom.

I stood in the kitchen, waiting for the water to boil, listening to the sounds drifting out of the bedroom.

He was whining. She was laughing.

The first time Marcus introduced me to Lily in the past life, I knew right away—they were perfect for each other.

Lily was warm and confident, came from a good family, had great manners, and was nothing but kind to me, her boyfriend’s so-called “little sister.”

She was a genuinely good person.

If it weren’t for me, she wouldn’t have died. They would’ve been happy.

This time, I’d make it right.

Lily stayed in Marcus’s room taking care of him all night.

The next morning, I came downstairs and found Marcus in the kitchen, busy cooking.

He’d made fried eggs, warmed up milk, and cut toast into little triangles arranged neatly on a plate.

Then he carried it over to Lily and said softly, “Eat it while it’s hot.”

Lily poked him, grinning. “Since when do you know how to take care of people?”

His eyes lingered on her face. He didn’t say anything, but the corner of his mouth curved up.

After we got married in the past life, he used to cook for me too.

I stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

“Nancy, come eat!” Lily called.

Marcus looked up at me. His gaze was cool. Distant.

No extra words. No extra expression.

I sat down at the table. He got up and moved to a seat one spot away.

He looked at me like I was a stranger.

It reminded me of the cruelty in his eyes when he forced me out with nothing in that other life.

After one bite of bread, I stood up. “I’m full. I’ve got class. I’m heading out.”

Lily frowned. “So soon? You haven’t even touched your milk—”

“Can’t. Gotta run.”

I grabbed my bag and escaped out the door.

I spent the whole day in the library, researching study-abroad programs and filling out applications.

In the past life, I’d given up the chance to go abroad just to stay near Marcus.

Not this time. I was going far, far away. I was going to live for myself.

That night, I was planning to crash in my dorm, but Lily called.

“Nancy, come home for dinner. Big news!”

Marcus answered the door. When he saw me, his brow furrowed. “Why are you back?”

Clearly, I wasn’t his idea.

“Lily said she had something,” I said quietly.

Lily poked her head out of the kitchen. “Nancy’s here!”

She pushed me onto the couch, shoved the remote into my hand, and said, “Watch TV. Dinner’ll be ready soon.”

Marcus was in the kitchen helping her.

Through the glass door, I watched him lean down to listen to her, a faint smile on his lips, his eyes so tender they could’ve melted stone.

He’d cooked for me once too.

When I had a fever, he’d stayed up all night and made me congee in the morning. On my birthday, he’d skipped a work thing and came home to cook a whole meal.

“Hey, what’s with the thousand-yard stare?”

Lily caught me zoning out and pushed Marcus out of the kitchen. “You go keep Nancy company. I’ll handle the soup.”

Marcus dried his hands with a towel, looking annoyed, and sat down in the armchair diagonally across from me.

Miles away.

The silence stretched.

The TV was playing some lame variety show, and the laugh track felt painfully loud.

“Nancy,” Marcus said suddenly.

I looked at him.

He held my gaze, his eyes heavy. “Focus on your studies. Keep your feet on the ground. Don’t go getting any ideas.”

My heart felt like someone had grabbed it and squeezed.

Don’t go getting any ideas.

In his eyes, my feelings for him were nothing but wrong thoughts.

In the past life, when he found my diary, he’d said, “Nancy Monroe, you disgust me.”

He thought I’d schemed. Thought I was greedy.

But I’d never once said anything to Lily to hurt their relationship. Not a single word.

He didn’t believe me.

“I understand,” I said, my voice flat. “I won’t.”

At dinner, Lily’s cheeks were flushed pink as she announced, “Marcus proposed today!”

She held out her left hand. A diamond ring sparkled on her ring finger in the light.

“Congratulations,” I said, smiling for real. “Marcus, Lily. I wish you all the happiness in the world.”

Marcus’s hand froze around his chopsticks. He looked up at me.

I kept my eyes on my food and pretended not to notice.

After dinner, I volunteered to do the dishes.

Muffled laughter drifted in from the living room. Lily was talking about wedding plans, and Marcus was humoring her in a low, indulgent voice.

When I finished drying my hands, I was about to go tell them I had to head back to campus.

But as I reached the living room doorway, I heard Marcus’s voice:

“…once she graduates, it’s time for her to move out. I’ll buy her an apartment near campus. A girl her age shouldn’t be living with us forever.”

Lily didn’t agree. “But Nancy would be all alone. That’s not safe.”

“Besides, you two are practically siblings. What’s the big deal?”

Marcus’s voice was cool. “She’s grown. She needs her own life. And we need our privacy.”

I stood there for a second. Then I turned around, crept back upstairs, grabbed my bag, and left.

Once I was far enough away, I texted Lily:

「Lily, something came up at school. I’m heading back. Night.」

I took a deep breath.

Moving out was fine. The farther away, the safer.

—