You Wanted Me to Beg Before Marriage? Too Bad, I Walked First Chapter 08

You Wanted Me to Beg Before Marriage? Too Bad, I Walked First Chapter 08

The next time I saw Evan, he seemed like a completely different person.

His usual defiance seemed to have vanished. So had his prickliness and sudden bouts of sulking.

He waited outside my office building. Even when I ignored him, he no longer lost his temper. He simply followed several steps behind me like a shadow.

Sometimes he muttered to himself, but I never responded.

He did not seem to mind. He had become so subdued that it was as though he no longer had a temper at all.

On my birthday, he sent me a teddy bear made from preserved flowers.

A small card came with it.

[This time, I remembered.]

What difference did that make?

Everything had come far too late.

Besides, I had never liked teddy bears in the first place.

Whenever I got my period, hot chocolate and disposable heat wraps arrived right on schedule.

Using an alternate account, he sent me messages.

Evan: [How was your day? Did you have a rough day?]

Evan: [Is your stomach feeling any better? If you need to see a doctor, I can go with you.]

I never replied.

Eventually, even his greetings became tentative and cautious.

The only thing that did not change was how often he appeared wherever I happened to be.

Sometimes he deliberately let me see him looking miserable.

Other times, he tried to make me feel sorry for him.

Evan: [I was distracted on my way home from work and got hit by a car.]

Evan: [I got food poisoning and ended up in the hospital.]

Evan: [My supervisor criticized me today. I feel awful.]

Evan: [I want to take a trip, but I can’t find anyone to go with me.]

Every message ended the same way.

Evan: [I’m not trying to bother you. I just wanted to talk to you.]

Evan: [Tell me if you don’t want to see these messages, and I’ll stop. Just please don’t block me.]

I replied: [STOP.]

Evan’s mother came to see me.

Only when I faced her did a belated sense of guilt wash over me.

She had always treated me well. After my parents divorced, whenever I had nowhere else to go, she would take me in.

Whenever exams were approaching or school was out for winter or summer break, I stayed with Evan’s family.

That was why I had given in to Evan so often. I had always felt indebted to his mother.

Even after the breakup, I felt ashamed when I saw her.

She did not seem upset.

Instead, she asked, “Have you been doing all right? How’s work?”

“Did you finish the smoked salmon and country ham I gave you? I made a big pot of chicken stew too. I thought you could use a good home-cooked meal.”

I lowered my head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Evan and I broke up.”

“I’m sorry I disappointed you.”

“You’re a good person. How could you ever disappoint me?” she said. “Evan is the one who was wrong.”

She sighed.

“I’m not here to make excuses for him. He does love you, but he was spoiled rotten.”

“I know.”

“Living with him must have been exhausting.”

She gave a small smile.

“He’s exactly like his father. Neither of them knows how to say what they mean without making people angry.”

“He knows when something will upset you, and he does it anyway, deliberately pushing until you get angry.”

“Then when you finally get angry, he has the nerve to act offended.”

“The way he treated you was deeply unfair. Honestly, if you were my daughter, I never would have let you stay with him.”

“I came because I was worried you might overthink everything.”

“I’ve watched you grow up. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve always been far more thoughtful than Evan.”

“You were the only one who ever checked on me during the holidays.”

“As soon as you started working, you paid for me to go on vacations and were always buying me things.”

“So no, I’m not disappointed.”

“I only hope your life keeps getting better.”

“You’re a good woman, Maya. Don’t overthink it. Just focus on living a good life for yourself.”

After I said goodbye to his mother, Evan sent me another message.

Evan: [Can we ever go back to how things were?]

I suspected he had asked his mother to speak on his behalf, but she clearly had not said what he wanted her to say.

I replied: [Go back to what?]

The typing indicator stayed on for a long time before a message finally came through.

Evan: [I’ll change.]

I replied: [It must have taken a lot for you to say that.]

Evan: [I know I was wrong.]

Evan: [I was selfish and self-absorbed. I knew you loved me and treated me well, but nothing was ever enough for me.]

Evan: [Now I wish I could beat the hell out of my former self.]

Evan: [I finally understand that when you still cared about me, you indulged every demand and put up with every tantrum. I cared only about making myself happy. I never considered how you felt, and I kept hurting you.]

Evan: [It wasn’t until I realized you no longer cared whether I lived or died that I understood I had truly lost you.]

Evan: [I can’t stand being ignored by you. Knowing you don’t care about me hurts worse than dying.]

Evan: [So I’m begging you. We’ve known each other for so many years. Can you please give me one more chance?]

Evan: [I swear I’ll change. I’ll do anything you ask. Whatever you want, I’ll do it.]

Evan: [I’ll move closer to your office. We’ll rent whatever kind of place you like. Whatever you want to do, I’ll be there with you, and I’ll never keep you waiting again.]

Evan: [I’ll bring you breakfast every morning and pick you up after work. I’ll wash the dishes after dinner while you put your feet up and relax.]

Evan: [Wouldn’t that be a good life?]

Evan: [Please.]

My gaze rested on that final word for a long time.

But it stirred nothing inside me.

In that moment, the last thread binding me to him seemed to dissolve.

He had been part of my life for fifteen years, yet now he was merely the stranger I knew better than anyone else.

I knew we could never go back.

Thankfully, we never would.

I replied: [Let’s remove each other from our contacts and social media. I’m moving to another city.]

Over the years that followed, I moved several times and built a life and career in different places.

When I was thirty-one, I met the right person.

On my wedding day, a member of the venue staff told me that a man had been waiting outside for quite some time and asked whether he was one of my guests.

I had not seen Evan in years.

I had not expected him to still be keeping tabs on me.

I had no choice but to go outside and speak to him.

His eyes lit up when he saw me.

“You look beautiful.”

“This is all my fault. Otherwise, you and I would have been married years ago.”

“Evan, do you really think there’s any point in saying that to me on my wedding day?”

“You need to move on.”

“We’re adults. Life isn’t all about lost love and regret. Stop living in the past.”

He added, “My mom has completely given up on me. She’s stopped looking out for me.”

“No one cares about me now.”

I could not stop myself.

“You brought that on yourself.”

“Leave. If you stay here, I’ll have venue security escort you off the property.”

Just then, the wedding coordinator called to tell me the ceremony was about to begin.

I gathered up the hem of my dress and ran toward my new life, leaving Evan behind forever.