The General Who Took My Lantern and Broke My Heart Chapter 20

The General Who Took My Lantern and Broke My Heart Chapter 20

The northern line was nothing like the southwest.

Winter came early at Frostbreak Station. Snow started falling in October, and by night, the wind outside the field office sounded almost human.

Bram sat at his desk with a report in his hand. He stared at it for a long time and did not take in a single word.

At last, he set the report down and reached inside his coat.

He took out the silver comb.

The little gardenia carved into the top was worn now. The edges had dulled from being touched too many times.

Every day, he took it out once.

Every day, he looked at it, then put it back against his chest.

An aide came in to feed the stove. When he saw the comb in Bram’s hand, he lowered his eyes and said nothing before backing out.

Everyone at the station knew there was someone in Captain Caulfield’s heart.

She was not with him.

He never spoke of her.

But late at night, he often sat alone, staring at that silver comb as if it were the last warm thing left in the world.

Bram closed his eyes.

He suddenly remembered that spring from years ago.

The first time he saw Aveline was on Lantern Night in Foxglove Gap.

Back then, he only knew she was Thorne’s childhood sweetheart. He had never seen her in person.

On Lantern Night, the dogwoods were in bloom along the ridge road, and the whole town had gathered beneath the chapel hill. Lanterns swayed from the low branches, their paper sides glowing softly in the dusk.

Aveline stood on her toes to tie hers in place, one hand braced against the tree trunk, her dress hem brushing the grass.

Then she turned.

Bram tightened the reins before he knew he had moved.

Later, he told her he had fallen for her at first sight.

That part had been true.

Too bad it had been buried under so many lies and calculations that she would never believe it again.

He had taken her lantern.

It was a shameless thing to do, so he told himself it was for Cressida.

He told himself he was only helping his sister get what she wanted.

He believed that excuse for two full years.

Only on the night he opened the chapel door and found Aveline gone did he realize how long he had been lying to himself.

He loved her.

He had loved her from the beginning.

He had simply been too much of a coward to admit it.

Bram opened his eyes.

The fire in the stove had burned low.

He tucked the silver comb back inside his coat, stood, and stepped out into the snow.

It was still falling.

He stood there in the white dark and looked south, toward Vesper City.

He thought of the last time he had seen her.

She had walked toward him with an umbrella and placed the handle in his hand.

Then she had said, calmly and without cruelty, “I don’t hate you anymore. But I won’t love you again either.”

Just like that, she had handed down his sentence.

At the time, he had wanted to ask her one thing.

‘If I had married you because I loved you from the start, and not because of anyone else, would we have ended differently?’

But he never asked.

Because he already knew the answer.

No.

The things he had done, the lies he had told, the choices he had made, and the consequences they had grown into were all still there.

She would not forgive him.

And he did not deserve to be forgiven.

Later, when Rafferty found a way to have him transferred to the northern border, Bram accepted it.

Before leaving, he stood outside her shop for an entire night.

He wanted to see her one more time, even from a distance.

But in the end, he kept his hand at his side.

After everything he had taken from her, silence was the only mercy he had left to give.

The snow fell harder, settling on his shoulders and lashes.

Bram did not go back inside.

He stood there for a long, long time.

He still kept the Lantern Night lantern.

The paper had yellowed. The frame had loosened. But he had packed it carefully in a wooden box and carried it with him.

He would never go to Aveline again.

But he would remember her for the rest of his life.

He would remember Lantern Night in Foxglove Gap, the ridge road lined with dogwoods, the town gathered beneath the chapel hill.

And Aveline standing there with her lantern in her hands, still untouched by everything he would one day do to her.

Then she had turned and smiled at him.

He had not known then that some moments only came once.

And he had ruined his.