Since It’s Already Like This Chapter 04

Since It’s Already Like This Chapter 04

My mother’s voice instantly grew tense.

“Why? What did he do?”

“It’s nothing. I just… realized we’re not right for each other.”

The other end of the line went quiet.

After all, everyone knew I’d loved Lowell for seven years.

My mother knew.

Mira knew, too.

I was the one who pursued Lowell.

To get closer to him, I listened to the bands he liked, read books on his major, and even joined his gym, just for a few more chances to see him.

After college, he found a job in New York.

I gave up a fellowship my advisor recommended in Boston and followed him to New York.

My mother was furious with me for days.

I only told her, “Mom, if I miss my chance with him, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

Back then, Mira had been angry, too. She told me to my face, “Indigo, you’re a lost cause when it comes to him.”

Mira and I had been friends for ten years.

She had become as important to me as family.

But none of us expected that one day, she would so easily accept my boyfriend’s attention, completely disregarding how I felt.

I opened Instagram and saw the video Mira had just posted from dinner. My nose suddenly stung.

The location she’d tagged was the restaurant I’d read review after review for, the one I’d been saving for a special occasion.

Candles flickered on the table, the dishes were plated like art, and a piano played softly in the background.

But every time I suggested going there, Lowell would say, “We’re practically married. Can’t you try to save a little money?”

“A few hundred dollars for one meal? If you want a candlelit dinner, we can have one at home.”

He said it so casually.

And every time, I could only put my hopes away.

But now, all Mira had to do was say she wanted it, and he took her to the restaurant I had always dreamed of visiting.

After I set down the last box, I sank onto the sofa.

The last time I moved, I had called Lowell.

He’d said he was swamped at work and told me to figure it out myself.

To save money, I had no choice but to move everything on my own.

By the end of it, my old back injury flared up, and I was stuck in bed for two days.

But when Mira moved, Lowell took the day off.

“Moving is exhausting,” he’d said. “She can’t lift everything alone. We should help her.”

Watching him run back and forth, his hair damp with sweat, I felt as if I were looking at a stranger.

So it wasn’t that he didn’t know how to be helpful.

He just wasn’t willing to take a day off for me.