Gone Before He Loved Me Chapter 01

Gone Before He Loved Me Chapter 01

After losing baby after baby, it finally clicked—my stepsister Aurora and my husband had been in it together, making damn sure I’d never carry one to term.

I lost it. Completely. Grabbed a knife and carved up Aurora’s face before they threw me in a psych ward.

When I finally got out, only one person showed up to take me home, Matteo Ferraro, the Don of the Ferraro family. Didn’t give a damn about the gossip. Married me right there.

He treated me like I was made of glass. But my mind kept slipping, getting worse by the day. I became a regular at the hospital.

Until one night, I went to call him to bed and heard him say to the butler, “Add another dose to Donna’s milk today.”

The butler hesitated. “Donna’s already barely holding it together… one more dose and she’ll probably end up back in the ER by midnight.”

Matteo let out a cold laugh. “She owes Aurora that much. Aurora’s face is destroyed because of her. She’s going to spend every last day of her life paying for it.”

When that glass of milk sat in front of me, there was no warmth left. Only ice in my veins.

But I drank every drop.

What Matteo didn’t know—I’d already swallowed my entire stash of pills along with it.

Matteo, since you hate me that much, I’ll just go ahead and die.

The bitterness burned down my throat. Matteo leaned in like always, pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.

“Lucia, I love you.”

Every night before bed, those words used to wrap me in safety.

I had nightmares constantly, but I always believed Matteo was my shield.

Now all I felt was a shudder, cold seeping into my chest.

When I flinched away, he just smiled.

“Lucia, you’re exhausted. Go get some sleep.”

He turned his back to me and lay down. The glow of his phone screen flickered faintly.

He never held me at night. Said his arm was injured, couldn’t stay in that position.

I’d believed it like a fool.

But tonight, I finally saw what he was really doing.

Typing to Aurora, [Are you okay? Did you go out today? Anything good happen?]

Watching him draft messages and delete them over and over. Opening her photos, zooming in, scrolling back and forth.

He’d never once done that for me. Never even looked at what I posted.

I thought he was just too busy for my silly little shares.

Now I knew the truth—he just didn’t care.

The meds hit. My vision blurred, stomach churning, mind spiraling into chaos.

Monsters flooded the room, charging at me from every direction.

I couldn’t tell what was real anymore. I curled up and screamed.

Matteo pulled me into his arms like he always did. Gentle voice.

“Lucia, you’re having another one of those episodes. I’ll go grab the doctor.”

He left the bedroom to find the family physician downstairs. I thrashed and fell off the bed.

Through the door, his voice turned to ice.

“Same as always. Say her psychosis is too severe. Needs to be committed.”

The door opened. Matteo walked in with the doctor, concern painted all over his face—a completely different man from the one I’d just heard.

“Lucia, are you feeling better?”

But the doctor took one look at me and went pale.

“No… Donna’s condition is critical—”

The sting of antiseptic hit my nose. I coughed and opened my eyes.

Matteo’s expensive suit was crumpled, stubble dark on his jaw. Those cool gray-blue eyes were bloodshot—who knew how many nights he’d gone without sleep.

When he saw me awake, something flickered in his gaze. Relief, maybe. But I couldn’t tell anymore if it was real.

Before he could speak, I laughed bitterly.

“Matteo. I know about the milk.”

His face went still.

“No point in playing games anymore. If my existence hurts you this much—should I just die to make you happy—”

He moved so fast I didn’t see it coming. His hand closed around my throat.

All the tenderness was gone from his eyes. Only hate remained.

“Lucia.” His voice dropped to ice. “Now that you know everything, I’m done pretending.”

His fingers dug into her throat.

“You think death’s your way out after what you did to Aurora’s face?”

“Forget it. You’re not going anywhere. And if you even think about pulling that again, I’ll make your life a living hell.”