I Was the One They Were Willing to Lose Chapter 04

I Was the One They Were Willing to Lose Chapter 04

After Poppy moved into my room, Beckett and the others came by almost every day.

Beckett brought meals. Julian helped organize her college prep materials. Griffin bought a projector and personally installed it on my wall, worried she’d get bored while recovering.

While he was setting it up, he finally noticed the half-empty bookshelf.

“Where’s your stuff?”

“Packed away.”

He glanced at the suitcases outside the door and asked, offhand, “Getting ready for school this early?”

“Yeah.”

Griffin didn’t think much of it, just went back to fiddling with the remote.

“It’s local anyway. If you’re missing anything, come back and grab it anytime, no need to pack so much.”

Poppy, propped up against my headboard, bit her lip at that.

“Does Wren… not want me here?”

She threw off the blanket like she was about to get up.

“Actually, I could just go back to my own place. No need to make things awkward for Wren.”

Before her foot even touched the floor, all three boys converged on her at once.

Beckett held her shoulder down. Julian pulled the blanket back over her. Griffin turned to look at me, brow furrowed.

“It’s just borrowing the room for two months. Do you have to make that face about it?”

I paused. So even not smiling counted as making a face now.

“I haven’t said anything.”

“You haven’t said it, but Poppy’s scared enough to want to leave because of you.”

Mom walked in with a plate of fruit just in time to catch that last sentence.

“I’m the one who told Wren to clear the room. Don’t blame her.”

She set the mango down next to Poppy, then turned and lectured me.

“Poppy’s sensitive. Watch what you say and do.”

I looked at that plate of mango and said nothing.

I’ve been allergic to mango since I was a kid. Mom used to never allow mango in the house.

Then Poppy mentioned she liked it, and now there were always a few boxes in the fridge.

It’s not that Mom’s memory was bad.

She just remembered what Poppy liked, and forgot what I couldn’t touch.

I left the room and dragged the last suitcase into the study.

That afternoon, Julian sent me an apartment floor plan.

The four of them had rented a four-bedroom place near State, ten minutes from campus.

[Poppy needs sunlight, so we’re putting her in the master with the bay window, that okay?]

I replied: [Sure.]

A few minutes later, another message.

[There’s room for a foldout bed in the storage closet off the living room. You can stay there—you can go home on weekends anyway.]

That closet was under 60 square feet, with no window.

Before I could reply, Beckett dropped a voice message in the group chat.

“Wren can sleep anywhere, let’s just lock in Poppy’s room first. Doctor says she needs more sun, the master’s the best fit.”

Griffin followed up by transferring me a sum of money.

[Sorry about all this. Dinner’s on me once school starts.]

I didn’t accept the transfer.

I just pulled up the lease the agency in Sierra County had sent and paid six months’ rent.

A few days later, the other four got their admission results.

Unsurprisingly, all four got into the same local school.

Poppy scraped in, into tourism management.

The moment the news came in, Mom happily booked a restaurant.

At the celebration dinner, Beckett brought a Polaroid camera, saying he wanted to use it to document their four years of college.

In the first photo, Poppy sat in the middle, the three boys standing behind her.

As the print slowly developed, she glanced at it, then suddenly raised the camera and pointed it at me.

“Wren, let’s get one all five of us together too.”

Before I could stand up, Beckett had already taken the camera out of her hands.

“We’re low on film. Let’s save it for the start of the semester.”

Poppy looked a little deflated.

“But the five of us don’t even have a graduation photo together.”

Julian was already checking the film count in the box.

“We’ll all be in the same city from now on. Plenty of time for that later.”

Griffin handed me the photo they’d just taken.

“You’re the most careful with things, so hang onto this for us.”

In the photo, all four of them were smiling wide.

I took it and put it in my bag.

They kept saying there’d be plenty of chances later. So it was fine to not wait for me now, not choose me now, not save me a spot.

They just didn’t know. There was no “later” left for us.

Halfway through dinner, Poppy suggested one more trip to the beach before the semester started.

“Wren missed the ski trip. This time we have to all go together.”

Beckett agreed right away. “Sure, I’ll drive.”

Julian started pulling up hotels on the spot. “September 3rd work? Right before move-in.”

Griffin looked at me. “Don’t bail last minute this time. Bring the camera, get us a proper set of graduation photos.”

I did the math in my head.

By September 3rd, I’d already be roughly 1,700 miles away.

“Okay.”

They dove into planning the route, buzzing with excitement.

Not one of them asked which school I’d actually gotten into.

I got home late that night and put the four-person photo in the very bottom drawer of my desk, next to the card from the Sync Game with my name written on it.

One was the person they chose to keep.

One was the person they chose to give up.

The next morning, I left the house with just a backpack.

The three suitcases had already been shipped ahead to school. Nothing of mine was left in the study anymore.

I didn’t say goodbye before I left. I didn’t leave any explanation either.

On the way to the airport, my phone kept buzzing.

Poppy asked me to pick her up a hot cocoa from the Southside café.

Beckett sent a list of things the apartment needed, asked me to swing by and drop them off.

Julian asked me to organize everyone’s enrollment paperwork, especially not to forget Poppy’s physical exam results.

The last one was from Griffin.

[Why aren’t you answering?]

[Still upset about the game?]

The boarding call sounded. I turned off my phone and walked into the jet bridge.

Over the next month, they kept right on arranging my life in the group chat.

Get Poppy’s packages. Revise the trip itinerary. Go clean out the storage closet at the apartment ahead of time.

I never replied.

Not one of them ever actually came looking for me.

Then came September 3rd—the day they’d planned to go to the beach.

At six in the morning, Griffin parked outside my house.

Beckett was pushing me to hurry up in the group chat. Julian reminded me not to forget the camera. Poppy sat in the passenger seat holding the snacks they’d packed, waiting for me.

Ten minutes passed. I never showed.

Griffin lost patience and went straight up to knock on my door.

Mom answered, still half asleep.

“Wren’s not home. You didn’t know?”