Bunny Ears and Broken Contracts Chapter 01

Bunny Ears and Broken Contracts Chapter 01

My lop-eared rabbit beastman’s latest post had gone viral.

The title alone hit like a punch to the gut.

[I think my owner’s sister got me pregnant. What do I do?]

I was halfway through putting up his sale listing when the comments started pouring in.

[DON’T sell him!! He’s just dumb, he doesn’t know rabbits can have phantom pregnancies!]

[He loves YOU the most, he just got confused!! He had a little crush on Chloe and mistook it for the real thing!]

[If you let him go now you WILL regret it!!]

Chloe’s unread messages were still glaring at me from my notifications.

[Your beastman just texted me saying he’s pregnant and expects me to step up.]

[What the hell is going on?]

[He got pregnant from two kisses??]

I thought about it for a second, then opened his sale listing and changed “mated male” to “virgin.”

Then I texted Chloe back.

[You want him? If not, I’ll find another buyer.]

***

It was late. Chloe still hadn’t replied.

I grabbed a jacket and headed out.

I barely made it to the front door before Oliver shuffled out of the bedroom, rubbing his eyes. His gray rabbit ears drooped limply along the sides of his face.

He looked perfectly harmless.

“Hazel, where are you going? It’s the middle of the night.” I looked at him for a beat.

For some reason, that almost made me laugh. “Just heading out.”

I didn’t wait for a response. The door was already closing behind me.

The convenience store down the block was still open. I grabbed two beers and found a bench.

I was halfway through the first can when Chloe finally texted back. She was pissed.

[Sell?? He says he’s pregnant with MY kid and you’re putting him on the market?]

[I can’t with you. I literally TOLD you not to pick up random strays off the street, but did you listen?]

[Look at this mess. He’s a walking disaster. I got wasted on my birthday ONE time and he latched onto me.]

[HE came onto ME, by the way. Wouldn’t stop going on about how much he liked me.]

[And I KNOW we didn’t even do anything. Two kisses. That’s it. God, I’m never drinking again.]

I sat with her messages for a while, just staring at them.

Then I sighed and typed back.

[$100,000.]

[If you want him, I’ll give you the friends-and-family discount.]

Chloe shot back almost instantly.

[…How much is the friends-and-family discount?]

[$200,000.]

Chloe’s reply was a single question mark.

I broke it down for her.

[Think about it. He’s pregnant with your kid, so it’s basically buy one, get a whole litter free. You know how rabbits are.]

[Honestly? You’re getting a bargain.]

Chloe fired back.

[HAZEL! $200K for a STRAY?! Is money literally all you think about?!]

I sent her a payment link without a word.

A shadow fell across my screen.

The night breeze dragged in the sour stink of unwashed fur.

I locked my phone and looked up. A rat beastman stood in front of me, his long tail swaying behind him. His eyes flicked from my phone to my face, quick and calculating.

He rubbed his hands together.

“Hey, miss. Got something real special — rare breed, the kind you won’t find on the open market.”

“Priced to move tonight. Wanna take a look?”

He didn’t wait for an answer. His phone was already in my face, the photo zoomed in and glowing.

Inside a filthy glass tank, chained at the wrists in rusted iron — was that a merman?