Three Breakdowns A Year Was All I Was Allowed Chapter 03

Once my overseas assignment was confirmed, the first thing I did was get my brother’s gold bracelet back.

The owner slid the box toward me. It took me two tries to close the clasp.

The cold bracelet settled against the bone of my wrist.

I touched it and said, “I brought you home.”

When I got home, my mother-in-law and Sophie were both there.

My mother-in-law spoke first. “If you’re going overseas, pack your things soon.”

My hand stopped as I changed my shoes.

“Sophie’s been working on her paper with Nathan, often until late at night. You’re leaving anyway. Let her move in.”

The heel of my shoe hit the floor.

Sophie waved her hands. “Mrs. Reed, Claire wouldn’t be comfortable with that.”

My mother-in-law laughed. “She won’t even be living here. What’s there to be uncomfortable about?”

I looked at Nathan.

He didn’t even lift his head.

“She’s only staying for a while. Don’t make it into something it isn’t.”

I gripped the bracelet on my wrist.

“Then let’s get a divorce.”

My mother-in-law slammed her mug down.

“You’re making a scene over something this small?”

Nathan looked up.

“You’re not in a state to make decisions right now.”

I couldn’t help laughing.

“She can call you in the middle of the night. She can tell you the same thing thirty times.”

“Why am I only allowed to fall apart three times a year?”

Nathan frowned.

“Because you’re my wife.”

“Of course I hold my wife to a higher standard.”

“I want you to be stable and independent. At least be worthy of being my wife.”

I was still laughing, but my eyes burned.

Being his wife hadn’t meant getting more of his love.

It meant I had to be more careful even about how I cried.

Suddenly, my mother-in-law called my mom.

“You need to talk some sense into her, too.”

“Your son’s just died, and now your daughter’s running off overseas. If she gets divorced, too, you’ll have no one left.”

I suddenly reached out.

“Stop it!”

But the call had already connected.

Mom was crying. “Claire, are you leaving me, too?”

My throat tightened.

“No, Mom. I’m just going for work. I’ll come back.”

She was crying so hard she could barely breathe.

“Your brother’s gone. If you leave, too, I’ll be the only one left at home.”

Tears welled in my eyes, but I didn’t dare let them fall.

She was already crying this hard.

I couldn’t cry, too.

All I could do was reassure her over and over.

“I’m not abandoning you.”

“I’ll call you every day when I get there.”

“If you miss me, I’ll come home. Okay?”

She kept sobbing for a long time.

“Really?”

I nodded hard, even though I knew she couldn’t see me.

“Really.”

I didn’t hang up until Mom stopped crying.

The phone was still pressed to my ear, though the screen had long since gone dark.

Several seconds passed before I slowly lowered my hand.

The living room lights hurt my eyes.

I started toward my room, and my knees suddenly buckled.

I braced a hand against the wall and collapsed onto the floor.

Nobody came to help me up.

Before long, I heard pages turning behind me again.

It took everything I had to get back to my room.

Once the door closed, I slid down it onto the floor.

I couldn’t get a full breath.

My ears rang, and my hands shook too badly to hold my phone steady.

Outside, Sophie asked, “Nathan, I still don’t understand this part.”

His voice was gentle.

“That’s okay. I’ll explain it again.”

Tears hit the screen.

I opened my chat with Three Ninety-Nine.

[I don’t think I can take this anymore.]

He replied quickly. [Where are you right now?]

[On the floor.]

[Plant your feet on the floor. Breathe slowly.]

[Take a sip of water.]

I did what he said.

After a while, the ringing in my ears finally eased.

Nathan pushed the door open. When he saw my phone, he frowned.

“You’re too dependent on this person.”

“Platforms like that have no professional standards. They just tell you what you want to hear.”

A new message appeared on the screen: [Are you still feeling bad?]

The man I paid $3.99 was afraid I wouldn’t make it through these ten minutes.

My husband, who charged $600 an hour, was only afraid someone might actually comfort me.

“Okay.”

I wiped my tears away.

“That’s enough now,” he said.

Then he turned and left.

Soon, Sophie asked again, “Nathan, could you explain it one more time?”

“Of course.”

I braced myself on the edge of the bed, stood, and pulled out my suitcase.

As I zipped it shut, he was still outside explaining it for the third time.

I crouched in front of my suitcase and wiped away the last of my tears.