The Summer I Disappeared Chapter 12

The Summer I Disappeared Chapter 12

Back in my dorm. I opened my laptop to check my new campus email for my advisor’s reading list.

A new message sat in my inbox.

Leo.

He couldn’t find my new number. Facebook was blocked. So he’d tracked down my student email through

high school records.

[Winter, I’m sorry. I’m coming to find you.]

I opened it.

A wall of text. Desperation bleeding through every line.

[Winter, I found the medicine you threw in the trash. That’s when it hit me. How much of a bastard I’ve been.]

[These last few nights, I’ve been sitting in your empty room. Staring at that burnt computer. I can’t sleep.]

[I keep thinking about sophomore year. Your shellfish allergy. I carried you on my back for two blocks to the ER, I swore I’d protect you forever.]

I don’t know how I became this. I got so used to being loved by you. Completely. Without reservation. I got addicted to being on that pedestal. So I poured all my patience and favor into Tally, who needed me to protect her. I forgot. The one who always held me up could also hurt. Could also break.]

[I see it now. I won’t orbit around her anymore. You’re all I care about.]

[Winter, give me one chance to make this right. I’ll get on my knees and beg if that’s what it takes. I’ll come to California at Thanksgiving.]

Every word heartfelt. Every line bleeding sincerity.

Once, this was everything I’d dreamed of hearing.

So many moments when he pushed me aside, I’d wished he would just look back. See who had really been there all along.

Now I felt nothing.

I moved the cursor to the delete button.

He thought clarity about his own heart was enough. That if he just turned around, I’d still be there waiting.

He thought the distance between us was just three thousand miles. The Midwest to California.

He didn’t know.

After that night, a chasm had opened between us. One that could never be crossed.