I Heard Their Hearts Before Mine Stopped Chapter 01

I Heard Their Hearts Before Mine Stopped Chapter 01

After I gained the ability to hear my family’s thoughts, I finally understood that every kind thing they did for me was only to keep Sadie from feeling left out.

When Mom ladled soup into my bowl, she thought:

At least Lena won’t think we only care about her sister.

Dad showed up at my parent-teacher conference only because Sadie suddenly didn’t want him at hers.

The birthday gift my brother gave me was just the color Sadie didn’t pick.

Even when my fiancé Owen draped a jacket over my shoulders, I heard him think:

Sadie would be jealous again if she saw this.

I pretended I didn’t know.

After all, they still acted as though they cared. They called a doctor when I had a fever. They put my name on my birthday cake.

Until the flash flood hit.

The rescue boat only had room for one more person.

Sadie clung to Mom, crying that she was scared.

Every single one of their thoughts hit me at once.

Get Sadie on first.

But Dad said to me:

“You’re a strong swimmer. Hold on a little longer.”

Owen took off his life vest and put it on Sadie. He wouldn’t even meet my eyes.

“Lena, I’ll be right back for you.”

The rescue boat drifted away.

Their thoughts faded into the rain, replaced by waves of relief.

At least Sadie was safe.

As the floodwater rose to my chest, I suddenly felt grateful for this ability.

At least before I died, I would finally stop mistaking their actions for love.

…

The rain stung my face.

In the distance on the rescue boat, Owen carefully wrapped Sadie in a waterproof jacket.

Dad held Mom, who was shivering violently. Their silhouettes blurred in the downpour.

The storm was loud, but every one of their thoughts cut through the waves and reached me clearly.

Good thing Sadie made it onto the boat. She’s so frail. If she stayed in this dirty water, she’d get seriously ill.

Mom thought with relief.

Lena’s a strong swimmer. She even won a regional high school swim meet. Another half hour in the water won’t hurt her. Once we get Sadie to the evacuation shelter, I’ll come back with the rescue team. At least then I can tell myself I didn’t completely abandon her.

Owen shielded Sadie from the rain with his body while comforting himself with those thoughts.

I gave a bitter smile. Floodwater rushed into my mouth, tasting of mud and rot.

My fingers dug into the soaked bark of the cottonwood tree behind me until my nails bled.

In the freezing river, I couldn’t even feel the pain.

Yes, I really had won that school swim meet.

But only because Sadie wanted to see a gold medal, so Dad forced me to compete. Even when I cramped during training, he told me with a straight face that I was just being lazy.

The current grew stronger. A massive piece of driftwood slammed into my lower back.

The pain was blinding. My hands slipped, and I was swept into the raging whirlpool.

Icy water rushed into my airway from every direction. The suffocating pressure closed over me like a tide.

My body sank. Everything went dark and silent.

I was going to die.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die. Mine did.

I saw all nineteen years.

At five years old, I fell into the old well on the farm.

Back then, Dad had not yet grown cold toward me. He kicked off his shoes, climbed down the rope bare-chested, and held me tight.

Mom cried at the mouth of the well, her legs giving way as she shouted that she would trade her life for mine.

That same year, my brother piled every snack he’d saved for six months on my bed and promised he’d always protect his little sister.

Those memories were warm enough to make tears sting my eyes.

I thought they really had loved me once.

Was it because Sadie became seriously ill and consumed all their attention that they stopped seeing me?

If they reached the shelter and the rain kept getting worse, would they suddenly remember I was also a girl who could feel pain?

My lungs were empty. My consciousness began to fade.