I Let My Eighteen Year Old Self Cancel Our Engagement Chapter 01

I Let My Eighteen Year Old Self Cancel Our Engagement Chapter 01

The hotel staff messaged me yet again asking whether to cancel the engagement party.

As I hesitated, a shout suddenly came from the eighteen-year-old me inside my head. Ten-years-older me, why would you refuse to marry him?

That’s Owen Whitmore! You got together in college. You’ve been through so much together, and nothing has ever been able to tear you apart.

I didn’t know how to explain that love could wear down over time, so I simply handed control of my body to my eighteen-year-old self and let her feel it for herself.

So, for the first time, she experienced what it felt like to share her life with a heart full of joy and receive no response at all.

Across the table, Owen brushed off every wedding suggestion she made with a vague “sure.”

The entire time, his head stayed lowered as he replied to messages from his junior labmate Zoey Hayes.

Even when eighteen-year-old me burned with fever that night until she could barely think straight, Owen only tossed out a casual “get some rest” before rushing back to school to keep Zoey company in the lab.

With helpless impatience, he said, “This is what real life is, Willow Hardee. It’s not always exciting. We’ve been together this long. Do we really need all that over-the-top, ceremonial stuff?”

I watched the light in the young girl’s eyes fade little by little, smiling so hard my tears almost fell.

But Owen, the person you’re neglecting right now isn’t the twenty-eight-year-old me who’s learned to settle, to lower her expectations, to make peace with disappointment.

Eighteen-year-old Willow was still young, still burning, still brave enough to run straight ahead.

She really dared to leave you.

***

I get it now. You can’t bring yourself to end this. So I will.

Eighteen-year-old Willow was certain. She immediately took out her phone to cancel the engagement party.

Owen didn’t notice at all.

Just like he used to brush me off, he reached over and tried to tug her arm. “You’re in research, too. You should know how busy I am when I’m about to finish my PhD, right? I’ll definitely make time for you next week, okay?”

Eighteen-year-old Willow yanked herself free. “Is it the lab that’s keeping you busy, or your precious Zoey?”

I had fought this exact fight countless times before.

I gave a low laugh and continued in my mind. Next, he’ll frown and ask why you’re being so unreasonable.

Sure enough, Owen immediately shifted the blame. “I’m working for our future, aren’t I? Even someone as careless as Zoey knows to tell me to get more rest.”

“And you? All you do is pick fights. Have you ever once asked if I’m tired?”

He had always loved treating people like fools.

Before I even had to speak, eighteen-year-old Willow already questioned him out loud. “Or maybe the excitement outside just feels fresher? Owen, I really never thought your promises would be this worthless.”

“Go ahead and work yourself to death for someone who understands you. Just stop coming to me acting like you’re the victim.”

Owen’s expression froze.

After all, in the past, as long as he showed even the slightest hurt or anger, I would soften.

I would think of our ten years together. I would think about how troublesome breaking up, moving out, and explaining everything to my parents would be.

Then I would think about my age, and how maybe I didn’t have many choices left.

In the end, I would have no choice but to sigh and say, “That’s not what I meant.”

And the whole thing would get swept under the rug.

Eighteen-year-old Willow had just typed “The engagement party is off” into the chat box when Owen’s phone suddenly rang.

I had expected it. No need to guess. Morning, noon, and night—three times a day. Nine times out of ten, it’s Zoey.

Sure enough, he turned on speakerphone like he was making a point, and Zoey’s loud, breezy voice came through. “Owen, we already ordered. Did you calm Willow down yet?”

The air went silent for one second.

Zoey reacted immediately on the other end and started giggling. “Willow’s there, too? Perfect. I’ll come over and explain. Wouldn’t want you two actually fighting because of me.”

Fifteen minutes later, Zoey appeared at the door with two cups of coffee.

The moment she came in, she nudged Owen with her elbow. “You look super stressed, Owen. Want a vanilla latte to cool down?”

Owen took the coffee and forced a bitter little smile.

Zoey immediately gave him an “I get it” look.

Then she came over with a bright smile and linked her arm through mine, acting close and natural. “Owen, Willow has always been so understanding. Just how badly did you mess up this time?”

“Willow, please have mercy. I’m not as smart as you. Without Owen helping me, I might actually fail and have to extend my degree.”

“Next time he makes you mad, I’ll punch him for you, alright?”

We were all PhD candidates at the same university. I’d never heard of anyone getting their degree just because a labmate helped them out.

But Owen looked at her and let out a soft laugh.

His eyes were full of affection.

Zoey chuckled and exaggeratedly snapped into a stiff, obedient salute.

Then, as if her mission had been accomplished, she casually opened the other coffee and drank it close beside Owen.

“Owen, did this place change their toppings today? It tastes kind of sweet.”

“I don’t think so. Did you get it from the place we always go to?”

“No, I was in a rush to come save your relationship…” At that point, Zoey suddenly let out a little gasp, as if she had only just remembered I was still there. “Willow, you don’t mind, right?”

“I didn’t know what you like to drink, so I didn’t just buy you anything randomly.”

“You’re not going to get mad about this too, are you?”